That’s How the Light Gets In

So far, this month has been a month of losses.

I am afraid that the election confirmed a loss of civility as a norm in our society. I don’t want to write about politics but I do want to say that inclusiveness and respect for each individual are values we must fight for. Bigotry, xenophobia, homophobia, racism, sexism, and disrespect for people with disabilities must not be tolerated. We must speak up against bigotry whenever we hear it. I will support all organizations that fight for civil rights. Will you join me in consistently speaking out against hate and putting money behind our words?

Right after the election I lost my wonderful Aunt Shirley, and with her the last vestige of my childhood elders. My mother was one of five children, and as time went on five families were formed. My parents and aunts and uncles and cousins were a most close-knit family.  Three of the families lived only blocks from each other and there were no locked doors. Aunts, uncles, cousins wandered in and out of each other’s homes at will. It was a wonderful childhood, but even more wonderful were the values that were instilled in each of us kids in each of our five families. A cohesive family is golden. We have a little touch of La Cosa Nostra in the Smith Clan, as we call ourselves. The older generation of Smiths are not here anymore to guide us, and we mourn the loss of a generation, but they created the Smith Clan and the Smith Clan lives on. 

Right after Aunt Shirley died, Leonard Cohen did as well. Of course, he was not a relative so the loss was not personal. But I loved Leonard Cohen for his poetry, and the fact that he growled out his beautiful songs only made them more powerful. 

And next, Gwen Ifill was gone. I always considered Ifill a huge breath of fresh journalistic air amongst the shouters.

But now Thanksgiving is coming. Just in time, I think. Here’s an opportunity to remember all that we can be thankful for. I am thankful that Leonard Cohen reminded us that “There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.”

Before this month of losses ends, I am going to try to figure out how to bring some more light through the cracks. Will you join me? December can truly be a month of light if we “ring the bells that still can ring.”

©2016 Margery Leveen Sher

The Noticer’s Guide to Living and Laughing…..Change Your Life Without Changing Your Routine is now available on Amazon, Nook, and iTunes.  Read the reviews and purchase here. http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00OZTM73U 

MARGERY IS AVAILABLE TO KEYNOTE YOUR MEETING OR CONFERENCE with a motivational talk filled with both startling wisdom and humongous laughs:

“Notice What You See and Be a Hero at Work”

Laundry, Type A’s, and a Nobel Prize

I have really thought a lot about this. Self-examination is a good thing, they say, so I was determined to determine why in the world I love to do laundry.

I have absolutely no affinity for any other type of housework. I have a talent for averting my eyes so as not to see work that unquestionably should be done.

But laundry! I love doing laundry! When I get home from work, I change my clothes and then put in a load of laundry before I do anything else. This is sacrosanct, and I have done it daily for my whole adult life.

You might question where I get all this dirty laundry. After all, it is just my husband and me in the house now. Well I generate a lot. I have confessed before that I only use a towel once. I know. I know. It is very un-ecological and a big sin. I am sorry. Besides the towels, there are always things to wash. Of course the clothes and sheets, but it is a good thing to wash blankets from time to time as well. Anyway, I find enough dirty laundry to keep me going, believe you me.

But why do I love it?

After much introspection on this important topic, I have come to the conclusion that I love things that allow me to multitask because then I feel all the more accomplished. Yay for me! Not only have I written this piece about laundry – a Nobel Prize level essay I believe – but I have also washed my whites at the very same time. How fabulous is that?!

There aren’t that many machines that allow you to multitask. There is the washing machine’s sibling, the dryer. And there is the dishwasher. And there is a crockpot, which I don’t have, but still admire. What else? Of course, you can leave things to cook on a stove or oven, but that doesn’t count for me because I am always paranoid that the house will burn down so I am constantly watching. Oh yeah, the refrigerator. But still, that doesn’t give me the same level of excitement because it is always doing its thing. It’s not like I have to start it up and then it takes over. Can you think of other excellent machines that allow you to multitask?

Anyway, you see now why the washing machine is the perfect machine for a Type A. My laundry is clean and my Noticing for today is done. 

©2016 Margery Leveen Sher

The Noticer’s Guide to Living and Laughing…..Change Your Life Without Changing Your Routine is now available on Amazon, Nook, and iTunes.  Read the reviews and purchase here. http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00OZTM73U

MARGERY IS AVAILABLE TO KEYNOTE YOUR MEETING OR CONFERENCE with a motivational talk filled with both startling wisdom and humongous laughs:

“Notice What You See and Be a Hero at Work”

School Days, School Days

School days, school days

Dear old Golden Rule days

'Reading and 'riting and 'rithmetic

Taught to the tune of the hick'ry stick

What are your memories of your own first days of school? I have only a generalized memory of elementary school opening days. I remember feelings of excitement mixed with anxiety.

I always had a new “first day of school dress”. I remember red plaid dresses. I loved the smell of my new crayons and pencils. I loved my new pencil box. I remember the joy of putting new school supplies into their proper places. (I still like things that go into a specific place.) I remember feeling anxious about doing really well and not falling behind.

Isn’t this funny? After 19 years of school, this is all I can remember of the first day.

Let me see what else I can remember about all those years of school. I remember that my friend got me into trouble in kindergarten and I had to sit in the corner for sticking out my tongue. (It was her fault.) I remember when my 4th grade teacher made me stay after school all the time to practice writing with my right hand. (I am a lefty and the only thing I do with my right hand is bat. The last time I played softball was 6th grade when, I want to tell you, I was the star pitcher on the Pony Tail League.) I remember loving grammar in 5th and 6th grades, and getting those A’s. (I did not say I was a cool kid.) I remember when I got into the Safety Patrol.

In middle school (It was jr. high then.) I remember being in the bleachers cheering on various teams.

In high school I remember writing funny notes to my friends. I remember going to football games wearing my Bermuda shorts and knee socks. (I looked cool. Really I did.) I especially remember the day my history teacher – a big, burly guy - came into the class crying. That was the day President Kennedy was killed. I also remember many Saturday nights driving with my friends up and down Main St. looking for boys to honk at.

So let’s see….how much taxpayer money went into my public education….and this is what I remember?!

I am not going to go into memories of college and grad school. It was the late 60s and early 70s. That’s all you need to know.

Do you have more precise memories than I? I sure wasn’t much of a Noticer back then, I guess. After all, you can’t remember what you don’t Notice in the first place.

 So let me just wish all families, including those of us without young kids, a school year that will generate many great lifetime memories.

©2016 Margery Leveen Sher

The Noticer’s Guide to Living and Laughing…..Change Your Life Without Changing Your Routine is now available on Amazon, Nook, and iTunes.  Read the reviews and purchase here. http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00OZTM73U

MARGERY IS AVAILABLE TO KEYNOTE YOUR MEETING OR CONFERENCE with a motivational talk filled with both startling wisdom and humongous laughs:

“Notice What You See and Be a Hero at Work”

Put the Pale Blue Dot in its Place

I am a geek. Specifically I am a space geek, and I want you to be a space geek too.

We can have space geek parties together! Truly, space Noticers are a fine group of geeks. C’mon. You want to join the in-crowd, the cool kids, the trend-setters, don’t you? (Of course, only geeks use phrases like that.)

While we are obsessing about sports or politics or buying the latest and greatest, the universe…or the multiverse….is going about its business of being born and dying and spinning and swallowing and spitting out.

The late Carl Sagan said that our planet is just a pale blue dot in a vast universe. Watch his awesome video here.

Our planet is in a solar system that is on one edge of the huge Milky Way galaxy. And the Milky Way galaxy is only one of at least one hundred billion galaxies. And now astronomers have found dark matter galaxies – galaxies that are mostly dark with very few stars. The rest of such a galaxy is composed of dark matter. And all these galaxies make up the known universe. And who knows how many more universes there are.

You can see the center of our own galaxy right here! 

These are all real images from our most powerful telescopes, but another amazing thing is the real photos taken on Mars. 

I have to admit, I spend a lot of time on these websites: NASA, Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL), Hayden Planetarium (with the great Neil deGrasse Tyson), and various YouTube space videos. Try it! Just spend 10 minutes. You will Notice such awe-inspiring things. And it’s all real!

You don’t care?! You are going to ignore space and concentrate on the game? You don’t want to be a space Noticer? You want me to leave you alone? “I’m sorry, Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

Who am I quoting? A prize will come to you if you know.

©2016 Margery Leveen Sher

The Noticer’s Guide to Living and Laughing…..Change Your Life Without Changing Your Routine is now available on Amazon, Nook, and iTunes.  Read the reviews and purchase here. http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00OZTM73U

MARGERY IS AVAILABLE TO KEYNOTE YOUR MEETING OR CONFERENCE with a motivational talk filled with both startling wisdom and humongous laughs:

“Notice What You See and Be a Hero at Work”

Not Exactly Pete Seeger’s Question, But Still

I know. I know. I could ask all kinds of questions. Weighty, important questions like: Why are there always wars? Why are some people so unkind? Why is the ocean salty? Why does Pluto only have five moons?

I know you think about those kinds of questions all the time. But today, I want to ask some others that have bothered me for a while.

Why do the things I count on disappear?

Now, I admit this blog post will turn out to be from a woman’s point of view, but I bet you guys can come up with your own examples.

So the problem is that once I decide I love something; that I must have it; that it solves all my problems; sooner rather than later, it disappears. It is no longer sold.

Take, for example, lipstick. You may grab a lipstick from the counter and say, “This looks good. I’ll take it.” Not me. I have spent a good part of my life looking for the perfect lipstick. (Yes, I am too a feminist!) Eventually I decide to settle for one that will do, even if not perfect. I use it up and then go back to the store for a replacement. It is never there. Never. It is not in “this season’s collection”. It is gone and I am back to the drawing board.

May I discuss bras? The holy grail of fit, comfort, serviceability, and attractiveness is just that: the holy grail. Impossible to find. However, when I finally come close enough to the grail and purchase the piece, I often want to replicate that purchase after a while. But, no cigar. It is always discontinued. What is it about this? I won’t go into any theories about uniqueness of boobosity resulting in poor sales for any garment I like.

Ok, just one more proof of concept. Yogurt. Specifically frozen yogurt sold in frozen yogurt shops. I have spent several happy summers in my city, walking from one frozen yogurt shop to another sampling the wares. These shops were plentiful, one or two in every neighborhood. I loved them from the bottom of my heart. The fun of eating frozen yogurt while walking down the street on a hot summer day cannot be surpassed.

Where have all the yogurt shops gone? Now maybe you don’t think this is as important a question as Pete Seeger’s, Where have all the flowers gone? But the closing of the yogurt shops is a terrible turn of events, in my view. I am bereft.

So listen. What do you think about this problem of disappearing things? Am I the only one worried about lipstick, bras, and yogurt?

What’s that? I am bringing up a ridiculous issue? You would rather that I comment on this exemplary US election season? Ha!

©2016 Margery Leveen Sher

The Noticer’s Guide to Living and Laughing…..Change Your Life Without Changing Your Routine is now available on Amazon, Nook, and iTunes.  Read the reviews and purchase here. http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00OZTM73U 

MARGERY IS AVAILABLE TO KEYNOTE YOUR MEETING OR CONFERENCE with a motivational talk filled with both startling wisdom and humongous laughs:

“Notice What You See and Be a Hero at Work”

The Lucky Girl in the Red Plaid Glasses

I wasn’t too bright and I was very quiet and shy, but I was a pretty little girl - so all was well.

I remember as a two or three year old chasing after all the black dots and lines I saw. Are you familiar with “floaters”? You see dots and lines – it’s really shadows of clumps of vitreous on the retina. It is unusual to have floaters so young, but I did. No adult knew that, though.

By the time I got to elementary school, it was clear that this shy little girl was a real dummy. Into the slow reading group she went.

I remember in first or second grade, trying to memorize what the teacher was saying because evidently she was doing something on the big board in the front of the room, but I had no idea what. It is, indeed, much slower to learn when you have to memorize everything instead of reading the blackboard.

But I didn’t know what I didn’t know, so I didn’t complain. Anyway, I was shy.

Somehow in third grade, the teacher and my parents began to realize that maybe I couldn’t see well. What a revelation!

I loved my new red plaid plastic glasses. I could see, and soon I was able to move reading groups.

As the years passed, my glasses got thicker and thicker. My parents, especially my father, were early adopters (I didn’t get those genes), so I always got the latest, thinnest variation, but they were still thick.

When I was 13, something new was invented: contact lenses. I remember when I got my contacts, I looked into the mirror and for the very first time clearly saw my face without glasses. It was a miracle. I was elated.

Over the years, I have worn many types of contacts, always trying to get my vision crisper. My vision has been around 20/800 in both eyes for a very long time. I blame old Great-Aunt Sarah. She was renown in the family for her coke bottle bottom glasses and for walking into things. I did indeed inherit those genes. Fortunately and thankfully, my vision could be corrected well enough, and I could go through my life pretty much like anyone without vision problems.

Then along came the cataracts. The world got blurrier and greyer. Night-time driving was hazardous. Depth perception was very iffy and steps became perilous.

This week I had my second cataract surgery. It is truly a miracle. I see clearly for really the first time in my life! Modern medicine is a wonder and we who can take advantage of it are so very lucky. I feel exactly as I did when I got my contact lenses at age 13. I am absolutely awed.

The girl in the red plaid glasses is truly a lucky girl. I often think that if I happened to be born into a poor family in a third world country, I may have been sent out to beg or worse. 90% of the 285 million visually impaired people in the world live in low-income areas. Imagine how difficult their lives are.

Not only am I just lucky for where and when I was born, I am lucky that I could take advantage of all the technological and scientific advances that came along. I am definitely adding Prevent Blindness to the list of charities I support.

Noticers, we know how critical our vision is to our work, but also remember what Mark Twain said:

“You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.”

So let’s practice Noticing until our imaginations are 20/20!

©2016 Margery Leveen Sher

The Noticer’s Guide to Living and Laughing…..Change Your Life Without Changing Your Routine is now available on Amazon, Nook, and iTunes.  Read the reviews and purchase here. http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00OZTM73U

MARGERY IS AVAILABLE TO KEYNOTE YOUR MEETING OR CONFERENCE with a motivational talk filled with both startling wisdom and humongous laughs:

“Notice What You See and Be a Hero at Work”

Oh No! It’s the End of #%!

Those of you who follow my blog know I have mixed feelings about technology. However, last night I realized the most horrific…or is it the most terrific?....effect of technology.

I had a small dinner party and the discussion was varied but always passionate. Guest A said, “It is an outrage that xxx said yyy to zzz.” Guest B began to rebut while Guest C began to defend. But Guest D interrupted all to lift up their head and shout “Just a minute! I have googled what happened and here are the facts!”

OMG. This happens all the time now. No sooner does someone say something than someone else’s thumbs are going full speed ahead to discover and announce “the facts”.

It is the end of poetic license. It is the end of stretching the truth to make a point. It is the end of speaking whatever pops into one’s head.

It is the end of bullsh#t!

Oh no! How can we converse in civilized society without hyperbole, without metaphor, without a slight coloring of the facts for emphasis?

The ubiquitous phone with the ubiquitous internet equal “Just the facts, Ma’am. Just the facts.”

As a story-teller (which is a euphemism, I admit), I proclaim a 30 day mourning period for the end of BS! And I don’t think I will ever find closure. BTW, you know of course what Socrates said? “The only true wisdom is in knowing how to BS.” 

Oh jeez….Are you going to google that now?

©2016 Margery Leveen Sher

The Noticer’s Guide to Living and Laughing…..Change Your Life Without Changing Your Routine is now available on Amazon, Nook, and iTunes.  Read the reviews and purchase here. http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00OZTM73U 

MARGERY IS AVAILABLE TO KEYNOTE YOUR MEETING OR CONFERENCE with a motivational talk filled with both startling wisdom and humongous laughs:

“Notice What You See and Be a Hero at Work”

The Last Time

I think of my mom every day even though she passed away 18 years ago.

I often think of how when I visited her and my dad in NJ, my mom and I often took a day at the outlet shops in the NJ Meadowlands. We would have a shopping day with lunch; just hanging around together, trying on clothes and “saving” tons of money in discounts. Spending time with my mom was always pleasant, low key, and fun.

I don’t specifically remember the last time we did this shopping together. I only remember that this was a regular practice of ours. But in fact there was a last time, a final time for our outlet shopping. Of course, I didn’t know when we were having our grilled cheese sandwiches together in the little coffee shop that that day was our last time.

It really makes me think. We never know when the last time is. The last time we shop with our mom. The last time we have dinner with a friend. The last time we take an early morning walk.

I don’t intend this Noticing to be depressing. Rather, it is a reminder to Notice.

Thinking about “the last time” brings me back to my life theme: Notice what you are doing. Savor the present. Enjoy the good and the fun and the worthwhile. Notice what you don’t like and work to make it better. Live your life with an active brain and with kindness.

Abraham Joshua Heschel coined the term “radical amazement.” Be radically amazed at what you see and what you can do. Cherish the time you are together with beloved family or friends. You never know if it is the last time.

©2016 Margery Leveen Sher

The Noticer’s Guide to Living and Laughing…..Change Your Life Without Changing Your Routine is now available on Amazon, Nook, and iTunes.  Read the reviews and purchase here. http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00OZTM73U

MARGERY IS AVAILABLE TO KEYNOTE YOUR MEETING OR CONFERENCE with a motivational talk filled with both startling wisdom and humongous laughs:

“Notice What You See and Be a Hero at Work”

How to Be Happy Like Tigger

There is so much written about how to be happier. You have to admit, this is such a first-world problem. People who are fleeing or coping with war, who can’t find enough to eat every day, or who are suffering from disease aren’t so obsessed with this idea of increasing happiness from pretty happy to really happy, are they? You can see that this whole happiness movement kind of annoys me.

I almost lost my eyes in my head from rolling them so hard when I heard we are supposed to look at each of our chatchkies and determine if it brings us joy. If not, get rid of it. Really? Is this how we should spend our time? “Flower vase from I’m not sure where, do you bring me joy?” And proceed like that with each and everything you have? Ai yai yai. I say, if you can’t slam your closet door shut because it’s too full, just get big garbage bags and throw out whatever you can in 15 minutes, then shut the door and move on with your life.

Well, I am by nature a Tigger but I am well aware there are plenty of Eeyores around. (You are a Winnie the Pooh fan, are you not?) As evidence of my Tiggerishness, I submit that I love summer. Who cares that it’s hot. There are blueberries, strawberries, grapes, and peaches. Sometimes, and I do think this is like Tigger, I eat so much summer fruit that I feel rather sick. But anyway, summer lets you just run outside whenever you want, no need to brace yourself against the cold and spend time putting on sweaters and coats and scarves and hats and boots. No, just run outside. Yay!

But even a Tigger like me gets down in the mouth. Lately it’s been quite often because of events in our country and around the world. I find myself quoting the pessimistic words of William Wordsworth: “The world is too much with us…”

I could easily turn myself into an Eeyore. However I firmly believe there is really one great step to happiness.

That step is to do something, just one thing, each day to make someone else smile. I try hard to remember to do this.

Send a text or an email or even an old fashioned snail mail note. Buy someone an unexpected little gift. Pay it forward; help a stranger; say good morning to someone who is homeless. Certainly doing volunteer work will make you much happier, but there are simple things you can do too. Practice random acts of kindness.

Just do one thing every day to make someone else smile. Let me know if you are a Tigger now or when you are joining us Tigger People. How did you make someone else smile today? 

©2016 Margery Leveen Sher

The Noticer’s Guide to Living and Laughing…..Change Your Life Without Changing Your Routine is now available on Amazon, Nook, and iTunes.  Read the reviews and purchase here. http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00OZTM73U

MARGERY IS AVAILABLE TO KEYNOTE YOUR MEETING OR CONFERENCE with a motivational talk filled with both startling wisdom and humongous laughs:

“Notice What You See and Be a Hero at Work”

Absolutely Power-Mad

Bwaaaa! Hahahahaha! My face is turning green…. now purple….now orange! My eyes have become pinwheels spinning and shooting out lightening! Bwhahahahaha! I am power-mad! I am invincible!!

Yes, I am on a power trip. You may remember that my last blog post was about how powerful I am because I can open bottles with the bumpy rubber thingy. Well now I realize I am more all-powerful than ever!

Yes! With the touch of a finger….just one finger….I can make boring people shut up! I can make self-satisfied “analysts” shut up! I can make singers whose songs grate on my nerves, shut up!

Hahahahaha. Go ahead annoy me. Go ahead. I will just stick out my pointer finger and pussshhh - and you are GONE! Hahahahaha. Bwaaaaa!

Of course, I need to be in a car and you need to be on the radio. But even so.

Ha!!!! Be gone!!

©2016 Margery Leveen Sher

The Noticer’s Guide to Living and Laughing…..Change Your Life Without Changing Your Routine is now available on Amazon, Nook, and iTunes.  Read the reviews and purchase here. http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00OZTM73U

MARGERY IS AVAILABLE TO KEYNOTE YOUR MEETING OR CONFERENCE with a motivational talk filled with both startling wisdom and humongous laughs:

“Notice What You See and Be a Hero at Work”

Super Powers

There is a section in The Noticer’s Guide to Living and Laughing, called Amazing Inventions Noticings. In that section I talk about the absolutely amazing zipper, trashcan, lettuce spinner, overcoat, and newspaper. There are so many more amazing inventions, but today I want to point out one very special invention…and maybe another.

That bumpy rubber thingy that grips the cap of a bottle! Yay for it! It makes me, a 100 lb (well, give or take a few multiples of 10) weakling into a veritable superwoman. If I can open a bottle, I can conquer the world! Ain’t nothin I can’t do now! Why with my bumpy rubber thingy, I can make this discordant world into a world of Noticers, a world of people who appreciate bumpy, rubber thingys and zippers, trashcans, and lettuce spinners as well! Somebody send me a Superwoman tee!

Now sometimes the bottle outsmarts even the bumpy rubber thingy. Then….and here is the other great invention I need to mention…..I get out the pliers! Yes the pliers! Without the pliers, I would never have my iced tea.

Pliers are an invention of last resort. The order is this: 1) Try using your bare hand. If that doesn’t work; 2) Get the bumpy rubber thingy. If that still doesn’t work, then; 3) The pliers will save the day!

I want to emphasize that most of the time the bumpy, rubber thingy will work. I’d hate for anyone to skip step 2 and just keep pliers in your pocket.

I used to have a round rubber bumpy thingy but I don’t know what happened to it, so I got another that is a big square. I liked the little round one better though because it was smaller and because I kept it with my other round thing – the tuit. Whenever I have to do something, I know I can get a round tuit at some point.

Ok. Sorry for this silliness today. I have important work to do now. I need to get a round tuit.

©2016 Margery Leveen Sher

The Noticer’s Guide to Living and Laughing…..Change Your Life Without Changing Your Routine is now available on Amazon, Nook, and iTunes.  Read the reviews and purchase here. http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00OZTM73U 

MARGERY IS AVAILABLE TO KEYNOTE YOUR MEETING OR CONFERENCE with a motivational talk filled with both startling wisdom and humongous laughs:

“Notice What You See and Be a Hero at Work”

10 Steps to Making Your Business Buzz

Do you want to make your business buzz with vitality? Do you want your employees to create new solutions as a team? It‘s all about making your company vibrant. Employees need to buy in to the vision. Employees need to be alert and have their creative juices rewarded. The company needs to be alive and buzzing.

Based on my decades as an entrepreneur and executive, here’s my take on what leaders need to do:

1. Set high standards. No, not just profitability goals or sales targets. Whatever you do you have to be the best. The customer or client has to feel that they are getting the best widget, platform, consulting ideas, etc. that anyone could imagine. This end result can only happen if every employee is making it happen. Everyone has to want to be the best. Everyone has to have that competitive itch that makes them put in the extra effort to put their particular contribution over the top.
2. Have a sense of humor. Be pleasant. Smile. (More on this in a bit.)
3. Be compassionate. When people fall, help them up. If they are willing to learn and not make the same mistake twice, compassion can lead to great loyalty.
4. Get your hands dirty. Sometimes, dive down into what each group is doing so that you understand their struggles and what they are trying to accomplish.
5. Be creative and reward it in others. A major route to creativity is (drum roll here): Noticing. Open your eyes and Notice what’s around you. Do not stare at a screen all day. Look around. Think about what you have seen. Teach your employees to Notice too. In the summer of 2014, Harvard Business Review had an article entitled “Becoming a First-Class Noticer.” It talked about how essential it is for leaders to Notice. I define Noticing as “mindfulness with a smile.” Mindfulness is paying attention, being in the moment. The smile makes it memorable. The smile comes from zippers and broccoli.
6. A zipper is a simple solution that works. Zip! You’re done! Can you Notice “zippers” in your workplace. If you can, maybe you can think of ways to replicate them. Maybe you can invent new “zippers”. Notice if any work processes are more like a Rube Goldberg invention than a zipper. Rube Goldberg inventions are unnecessarily complicated to the nth degree. Think if you can “zipperize” your Rube Goldberg processes. When I am speaking to corporate groups and I ask them to name zippers, they come up with things like templates, minutes to a meeting, Dropbox, consistent email subject lines, etc. Other zippers commonly in use range from KJ Diagrams to SurveyMonkey to Hootsuite. Consulting firms have had huge success inventing zippers – selling simplified solutions. Bottom line is: you want to find or invent all the simple solutions you can. Notice zippers!
7. Now broccoli. A basic form of analysis is to Notice and recognize patterns. Basic kinds of patterns that you see in the workplace have to do with how work gets done and how people behave. Often you can Notice repeating patterns. Broccoli is a lovely vegetable made up of a repeating pattern of smaller and smaller broccolis. Notice the “broccoli” and teach your employees to Notice broccoli. When you Notice broccoli –  patterns – you have a choice. If the broccoli is fresh and deep green, figure out if you can replicate it elsewhere. If the broccoli is kind of drooping and yellowing, disrupt it and replace it with a delicious, fresh broccoli Notice so you can replicate or disrupt.
8. Why use the terms zippers and broccoli, rather than simple solutions and patterns? See number 2. It makes people smile, and this new vocabulary is a memorable shorthand. You can have Notice the Zippers standing meetings frequently and brainstorm new solutions. You can have Notice the Broccoli meetings which will take some of the sting out of discussing old, negative patterns that need to be disrupted.
9. One more thing leaders need to Notice: Human Idiosyn-Crazies™. These are the endearingly dumb things we all do. We all have them. We need to Notice them in ourselves before we go pointing them out in other people. Are you a person who has an open door policy? Or are you a person who requires an Outlook invitation even if someone has a simple, one minute question? These are Human Idiosyn-Crazies. We need to be quick to laugh at ourselves. I believe that laughing at ourselves builds up the fuel for us to be kinder to other people and their Human Idiosyn-Crazies.
10. Perhaps in addition to being an extremely effective business leader, you might also be interested in squeezing the dickens out of your life? Life is not one big to-do list. Notice what you see at work and outside of work, at home and in your community…and smile. Notice with all five of your senses. Notice the zippers, broccoli, and Human Idiosyn-Crazies. You will be amazed at how much fuller your life will be. 

Noticers are vibrant people, radically amazed at what they see. Noticers build companies that are buzzing with vitality. Noticing is the secret to success – both in the workplace and in life in general.

Einstein and Me

Last week I wrote about how I am nosy and like to poke my big nose into things. That Noticing got me to thinking about what I am not nosy or curious about. There are, indeed, things that I don’t want to know anything about. How about you? It might be worth your time to make two lists – Things I am Curious About and Things I Couldn’t Care Less (CCL) About. Here are the top 5 on my CCL list.

1.              How to lay tile. (In fact, how to lay carpet or wood flooring would be a CCL as well. I am definitely not a DIYer. But, on the other hand, I wouldn’t mind learning just a little about plumbing and electrical work.)

2.              How to be a zookeeper. (Definitely not. No ifs, ands, or buts here.)

3.              How to rappel down a cliff. (No, that’s ok. I don’t need to know how to do that. I’ll watch you and that will be enough for me.)

4.              How to play the piano well. (Tried that for the most miserable sidetrack of my childhood. I was an abysmal failure and let’s leave it at that.)

5.              How to play football. (Sorry, fans, I am not with you. Run, fall down, run, fall down. It seems like a grown-up version of London Bridges.)

Now this makes me feel really good because I have put these things on my CCL list and I don’t have to give them another thought. Think of the time that will save me. Think of the guilt that I don’t need to have. I never again have to say, I should learn how to lay tile so I can renovate my own bathroom. No, now I am free!!

On the other hand, my Curious List is huge. I’ve given a lot of thought lately to math and physics. I know nothing about these things, but I would like to. I have started by buying the book How Not To Be Wrong (love the title!) by Jordan Ellenberg and now I have to read it. This book is about how basic mathematical principles work in everyday life. So that will take care of math. Now for physics, I’ll have to see what simple video or something I can find on the internet. Then I can check physics off the list.

I certainly need to keep adding to my Couldn’t Care Less list as well. That way I am actually producing time…time I otherwise might be spent worrying about how I don’t know how to lay tile or care for zoo animals. Whoa, ho! I think this is physics - I am expanding time! Wow - I’m just like Einstein!

Well, well, well. I must already know physics! It must have seeped into my head while I was asleep. Let me go check physics off my list. I’m done! Yay!

©2016 Margery Leveen Sher

The Noticer’s Guide to Living and Laughing…..Change Your Life Without Changing Your Routine is now available on Amazon, Nook, and iTunes.  Read the reviews and purchase here. http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00OZTM73U

MARGERY IS AVAILABLE TO KEYNOTE YOUR MEETING OR CONFERENCE with a motivational talk filled with both startling wisdom and humongous laughs:

“Notice What You See and Be a Hero at Work”

The Siblings: Noticing and Curiosity

Yes Noticing and curiosity are siblings. You must be curious in order to Notice. Otherwise, you see things all the time, but they don’t register. It takes curiosity to note them, to wonder about them, to make them part of your life.

Consider two people walking down the street together on a breezy spring day. One will Notice how the leaves are blooming on the trees and how the clouds are floating by. He will say to his friend, “Look at how the clouds change the colors of the leaves as they drift above them.” The friend will glance up and say, “Huh. So listen to what kind of crazy meeting I need to be in on Monday.”  Preoccupation is the enemy of curiosity.

Curiosity is the polite cousin of nosiness. I happen to be very nosy. If you were polite, though, you would describe me as curious. (Hmmm. Double entendre here, as the French say.)

For example, when you are on a road trip, do you look out of the car window as you travel through towns and wonder, “How do the people here live their lives? Where do they work? Where do they shop for groceries? For clothes? What do they do in their free time?” I always ask myself these questions. I look for possible places of work. I look for the schools, the restaurants and bars, the athletic fields, the firehouse, the stores, and anything else that might give a hint at what life is like in that town. Why? I dunno….just nosy, I guess.

On the other hand, I could argue that it is always a good thing to try to understand other people’s lifestyles and culture…and to actually meet them and talk to them if at all possible. Might this lead to more understanding and less prejudice? Maybe nosiness, curiosity, and finally Noticing, are the very first steps to that.

So no matter what crosses in front of your eyes whether in nature or something man-made, I suggest you stick your nose out a bit and nurture your curiosity. You may be amazed by what you Notice.

I think a toast to these awesome siblings is in order: Here’s to curiosity and Noticing, and to their cousin too, the overbearing but kindhearted, nosiness. Cheers!

©2016 Margery Leveen Sher

The Noticer’s Guide to Living and Laughing…..Change Your Life Without Changing Your Routine is now available on Amazon, Nook, and iTunes.  Read the reviews and purchase here. http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00OZTM73U

MARGERY IS AVAILABLE TO KEYNOTE YOUR MEETING OR CONFERENCE with a motivational talk filled with both startling wisdom and humongous laughs:

“Notice What You See and Be a Hero at Work”

Tape Trials and Tribulations

Let’s get back to Human Idiosyn-Crazies ™.

You remember what these are, right? I have a whole section in The Noticer’s Guide to Living and Laughing about them. They are the endearingly dumb things we all do.

See this photo?

I just wanted to get a piece of scotch tape. And this is typically how it turns out for me.

You know, sometimes I have a gift wrapped at a department store. I cruise wildly in my mind from absolute admiration to jaundiced jealousy to rapacious rage watching the person deftly and beautifully wrapping gifts.

Are you one of those people whose fingers and hands work magic on tape, ribbon, and wrapping paper?

Jeez. I bet you got all smiley faces in kindergarten. I did not.

Isn’t it interesting how some people have some talents and other people absolutely do not.

Here is what I do not have:

Ability to get a piece of tape off a roll (don’t even think about saran wrap); ability to open a box without tearing it or opening it from the bottom by mistake; ability to read directions about how to do something.

Here’s what I do have:

Ability to find my lack of abilities very funny.

What abilities or lack thereof do you have? If you can get tape off a roll, can you please come over here and help me?

©2016 Margery Leveen Sher

The Noticer’s Guide to Living and Laughing…..Change Your Life Without Changing Your Routine is now available on Amazon, Nook, and iTunes.  Read the reviews and purchase here. http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00OZTM73U 

MARGERY IS AVAILABLE TO KEYNOTE YOUR MEETING OR CONFERENCE with a motivational talk filled with both startling wisdom and humongous laughs:

“Notice What You See and Be a Hero at Work”

Dear Mr., Miss, or Mrs. Noticer,

Gee. I haven’t talked with you in a while. I wonder how you are. 

But…how am I supposed to communicate with you? It seems I must be adaptable if I actually desire a response.

 

Well, if you are my good friend and we have been through lots together (this means we are relatively the same age), I will email you, of course. And I will hear back from you soon.

 

But if you are the age of my offspring, my email may well wither on the vine. For you, I better text. Aha, there’s my answer right away!

 

And then there is the Facebook crowd. For them I must message. 

 

OMG. I also must tweet to preserve my coolness quotient and post on LinkedIn for my professional creds. 

 

However….I don’t care how uncool I am; I am drawing a red line in the sand. If you want me to Instagram, fuhgeddaboudit! It’s hard enough to figure out whom I should email, whom I should text, and whom I must message. (Of course, my use of the m after who certainly gives away my age and uncoolness.) And now you want me to Instagram?! Nononononono!

 

Pinterest? No way in Hades. Plain and simple.

 

Google+, Tumblr, VK, Flickr, Vine?! Hahahahaha. You will never find me. I am hiding way under my bed covered with a quilt.

 

But now. But now. But now, I am being told that nobody will become a Noticer unless I use Periscope.  Aiyaiyaiyai!!!!!

 

This social media stuff has turned me into a cranky, petulant two-year-old. Why must I be the one to adapt to your preferred communication style?! Why must I figure out how old you are, or how tech saavy you are, or how artsy you are so that I know where to find you?!

 

What was wrong with the olden days when you communicated by calling someone on a big black telephone by dialing the letters and numbers. That worked fine! Today of course you can call someone on their cell, but don’t leave a message for anyone under 40 because they will not listen to a voicemail. It is against their religion.

 

So here is my formal announcement: If you want to communicate with me, kindly purchase a quill and parchment, write me a nice letter in cursive, put it in an envelope and seal it with wax, and then find a horseback rider who will deliver it to me on a silver tray.

 

Ah! Them were the days.

 

Oh but wait….this beautiful invitation on parchment just arrived and it is for a dinner that occurred two weeks ago. Darn! Why do I always miss out?!

 

Ok ok OK! Soon you will find me on Periscope.

Meanwhile, please click here.

 

©2016 Margery Leveen Sher

The Noticer’s Guide to Living and Laughing…..Change Your Life Without Changing Your Routine is now available on Amazon, Nook, and iTunes.  Read the reviews and purchase here. 

 

MARGERY IS AVAILABLE TO KEYNOTE YOUR MEETING OR CONFERENCE with a motivational talk filled with both startling wisdom and humongous laughs: 

“Notice What You See and Be a Hero at Work”

 

 

 

 

I Wish You a Lopsided Heart

I have been thinking about the heart lately.

As I told you in my last post, How To Live a Life, my brother died of a sudden heart attack a month ago. (And thank you for all your lovely condolences. Each one is very much appreciated.)

Coincidentally to this tragedy, I had been undergoing some tests for symptoms that could have been angina. The good news here is that my symptoms are most likely from esophageal spasms – no big deal and certainly nothing that will interfere with my Noticing. Phew!

So I have been a bit heart-obsessed. And I have been trying to figure out how the heart works.

Not the physical heart – I will leave that to the cardiologists. Rather, I have been trying to figure out our feeling heart, our emotional heart. I think that this heart contracts and expands like the physical heart. And I have come to the conclusion that this heart – the heart that is core to our soul - is capable of great expansion.

I think that every time we are touched by the death of someone we love or even just miss, our heart contracts and gets a little smaller. I think of the deaths of my mother, my father, and now my brother; the deaths of my aunt and my uncles. I think of the deaths of my in-laws and of old friends who I should have kept in touch with more, and even the deaths of great people who we need so much to continue to walk the earth, but who are gone. I think each of these deaths cuts a little piece out of our hearts and shrinks it.

But our hearts grow enormously when we love someone; they enlarge hugely when we have children; they almost explode they grow so big when we have grandchildren. Happy family times expand our hearts. Good friends expand our hearts. Good deeds expand our hearts. Laughter expands our hearts.

So I think the heart can be totally lopsided. One side indeed contracts with each sadness we experience. The other side expands when we are blessed to be touched with laughter and love.

So I have a wish for you, my Noticing friends:

May you have a totally lopsided heart. May the expanded side of your heart be so great that the contracted side is, although not forgotten, not overwhelming you.

©2016 Margery Leveen Sher

The Noticer’s Guide to Living and Laughing…..Change Your Life Without Changing Your Routine is now available on Amazon, Nook, and iTunes.  Read the reviews and purchase here. http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00OZTM73U

MARGERY IS AVAILABLE TO KEYNOTE YOUR MEETING OR CONFERENCE with a motivational talk filled with both startling wisdom and humongous laughs:

“Notice What You See and Be a Hero at Work”

How To Live a Life

My brother dropped dead last week.

I am sorry to start a Noticing in such a depressing way, but in fact, that is what happened. He had a sudden heart attack and was gone.

So this blog post is probably the most presumptuous kind of writing you can read. Who am I to tell you how to live a life? Of course there is plenty of this advice from self-help, spiritual and religious sources. But actually, I don’t really want to tell you how to live your life. I just want to write about what conclusions I am drawing from this shocking experience. Here’s what I’ve got so far:

     1.     Laugh as much as possible and try to get others to laugh.

There is much pain and sadness in the world. Savor the good and the funny. Enjoy yourself as much as you can. That’s what I think, anyway.

     2.     Give generously of your time and talents to whoever can use them most.

Not only should you use your talents to help others because you shouldn’t hoard your gifts, but it will make you happier, much happier. That’s what I think, anyway.

     3.     Nurture your forgiving heart.

As I have written many times before, we are all full of Human Idiosyn-Crazies ™, which I usually define as the endearingly dumb things we all do. But sometimes, they are not that endearing. But he who has never been a pain in the butt to someone at some time, is the only one who should be allowed to present a holier than thou demeanor.  That’s what I think, anyway.

     4.     Learn as much as you can about how the world works and how other people in other cultures live.

It makes us gain perspective. We begin to really understand that we are not the center of the universe. That’s what I think, anyway.

     5.     Celebrate everything you can.

You never know when you will leave this earth. Acknowledge every accomplishment you can, both yours and your family’s and your friends’. Nothing is too small to celebrate. I have written before on why we should celebrate all kinds of things. Make up your own reasons. But celebrate often. That’s what I think, anyway.

My brother is gone.

I will remember him with laughter and understanding.

© 2016 Margery Leveen Sher

Move Forward but Don’t Miss the Backward View

Isn’t this a cool photo? The clouds in back of the car are reflected in the rear view mirror and match the clouds in the sky in front of our moving car.

It made me reflect on looking back and looking forward. And that is what we do a lot of in January of each year, don’t we?

Often people say things like “don’t look back” or “keep your eyes on the goal”. Phrases that urge us to keep moving forward instead of wallowing in the past. Yes, wallowing is not a good thing. But if we just keep ploughing onward without looking in the rear view mirror from time to time, we may of course repeat mistakes, but even worse, we will not be able to gauge how far we have come. And we wouldn’t want to miss opportunities for celebrating improvements, would we?

So I say, as we look forward to the new year, let’s set our vision for the year and work to get there. Maybe your vision is making stronger connections with family and friends. Maybe it is a work-related goal. Maybe it has to do with getting healthier or volunteering more. Maybe it is to read more books and drink more wine. (Just thinking personally here….) But whatever it is, look forward - and look in the rear view mirror too from time to time. Look at how far you have come. Look at how you were able to be resilient. Look at how you managed despite whatever. And celebrate! Celebrate small steps forward because they are really not small at all compared to where you started. Celebrate your evolution.

I have a vision of a world of Noticers. People all over the world realizing that if they just Notice, their lives and the lives of everyone around them will be so much richer. I have a very long way to go before I realize this goal. But if I look in the rear view mirror, I remember that a few years ago almost nobody was discussing the value of Noticing what you see. So I will move forward, but will also glance through the rear view mirror from time to time. After all I need some valid reasons to celebrate the spread of Noticing with a big piece of yummy cake.

Won’t you join me?

©2016 Margery Leveen Sher

The Noticer’s Guide to Living and Laughing…..Change Your Life Without Changing Your Routine is now available on Amazon, Nook, and iTunes.  Read the reviews and purchase here. http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00OZTM73U 

MARGERY IS AVAILABLE TO KEYNOTE YOUR MEETING OR CONFERENCE with a motivational talk filled with both startling wisdom and humongous laughs:

“Notice What You See and Be a Hero at Work”

The 7 Stages of The Highly Effective Hipster

or How My New Year’s Resolution to be More Chill is Working Out

I am not a Millennial. This can be proven by my age.

I am not really a hipster. This can be proven by the fact that although my avatar has big glasses, I do not.

I am not a purveyor of pop culture. This can be proven by the fact that I do not know what language such people speak.

Nonetheless, in pursuit of cool and in pursuit of hipsterdom and in pursuit of my goal to be more chill, I found myself this week in a sensory deprivation tank – a float tank.

You who are cool and hip – have you done this yet? As I found myself floating naked in complete darkness in a highly concentrated salt water solution, I thought…

Well now. Look at me!

Yes, I was proud of myself, but before I attained that state of high consciousness, I had to go through the 7 stages of development.

Stage 1 – What Have I Got Myself Into Now?

In this stage I stared at the inside of the pitch black float tank and tried to see where the water was and where the walls were, where any grab bars might be, and most importantly, where the door handle was. In actuality, I saw very little.

Stage 2 – How Do I Get Into This Crazy Thing Without Breaking a Bone?

Well in the end, after imitating the movements of an infirm 90 year old, I just plopped down clumsily in the water before I could break anything.

Stage 3 – I Hope This Doesn’t Turn My Expensively Highlighted Hair Green.

Well, I’ve come this far. The hell with it.

Stage 4 – What Happens If All This Salt Water Gets Into My Ear Canal?

Well, if it causes me to be deaf, at least I won’t hear myself constantly muttering all this scaredy-cat stuff.

Stage 5 – Finally, Just Relax Into the Water

Aha! Well here I am relaxed into the water! My face is still above the water line so, phew! I can breathe just fine!

Stage 6 – Why is Darth Vader Here?

Now all I can hear is my breathing and it sounds like Darth Vader! What is this about? I can also hear my heart beating and my stomach gurgling! Whoa. This is kinda cool!

Stage 7 - Now What?

I think I am supposed to meditate or just think of nothing. Ok Darth Vader, it’s just you and I now. Let’s try to think of a mantra. Well… ok then, let’s try not to think at all.  Ok, then, let’s you and I, Darth, just accept the fact that I have become a hipster as I float here in the dark water tank. I am very cool and very chill.

And somehow, I have gained some modicum of confidence that I will figure out where the door is and how I can stand up again when the time comes.

Stage 7A – Fall-Back Position

Bang! Bang! Bang! Get me out of here! Help! I can’t find the door handle! Help!!

Stage 7B – Oh. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Here’s the door. No problem. Sorry to bother anyone. No worries. Haha.

I hereby proclaim myself chill.